Super Bowl

I'm not a sports fan, but I've got invites to several parties for Sunday, including one from my brother. He jokingly suggested that I bring a special wine, like Boone's Farm. My reply:

Boone's Farm is actually a bit of overkill for Frito Pie. To bring out the nuanced flavors of mass-manufactured corn chips, what you really need is something along the lines of Mad Dog 20/20 Hawaiian Blue, commonly sold within easy walking distance of the hobo community. The sweet flavors of coconut and pineapple (as well as the sharp tang of the blue food coloring) complement the metallic aftertaste of canned chili and the fumes from slowly melting plastic (assuming that you're serving the treat in-bag).

On a serious note, I might bring something. You'd be surprised--a sparkling white wine is the perfect match for things like hot dogs, popcorn, and general snacking. I've seen Andrea Immer on TV drink a $100 champagne with a bowl of popcorn (tossed with black pepper and shredded Parmesan). In fact, I know of a slightly sweet sparkling Chardonnay from the Savoy region of France that tastes like green apples and lemon that would be a lot of fun.