Red Wattle Hog

In nine years of swine blogging, there are always old favorites that you return to year after year. I most recently wrote about the Red Wattle pig last year for the Cochon Heritage Pork event here in Memphis, where that breed (and a few Berkshire hybrids) were used in the cooking of over forty distinct dishes using every part of the pig except for the oink.

The Red Wattle is easy to identify even at a young age, due to the presence of the distinctive "wattles", or pair of fleshy tags that hang down from the neck. These serve no evolutionary or culinary purpose, but remain as iconic as the beautiful chestnut roan color of the hair. The breed is known for being friendly and easy to handle, and the sows reliably deliver litters of up to 15 piglets. They're great if you've got a lot of oak trees, since they love to forage for acorns and that will definitely help deliver the classic heritage breed flavor. They are on the lean side, though the meat is not bland like most of the current lean hogs used for mass production. You can correct for that by wrapping chops in bacon or through the use of a larding needle for roasts. Whatever you do, don't overcook it.

There are varying theories about the origin of the Red Wattle breed. Some point to Texas, but I've always preferred the more legendary origin of French colonists bringing the pig to the US in the 1700s from the island of New Caledonia, a collectivité sui generis française located in Melanesia east of Australia.

Pigs were first introduced to the South Pacific some 3500 years ago, and pig roasts remain popular for special feasts throughout the islands. It is not improbable that some random mutation from an East Asian pig resulted in the familiar Red Wattle profile, though breeding records from those areas are highly unreliable. Still, the breed is making a renaissance in the United States, and I hope to see more of them in organic farms and in discerning butcher shops throughout the country.

Dalen Products 100% Natural Jute Twine

Despite the many synthetic and natural twines I've reviewed over the years, when it comes down to my everyday workhorse I've always enjoyed a good jute twine. The word brings to mind old sailing ships and Rudyard Kipling novels and the Dutch East India Company.

Dalen Products 100% Natural Jute Twine
$4/400'/4-ply
Made in China

This is distributed by the Knoxville, Tennessee company Dalen Products, which makes a wide range of gardening equipment including netting and domestically produced hand-painted owls to scare off pests.

This is definitely an all natural jute twine, with a good scratchy character and stray fibers poking out regularly (all that friction makes for strong knots that won't slip). The cord has great tensile strength and held up well as I was tethering a young Bartlett pear sapling in the front yard. Once the tree is strong enough to stand, I can toss the scraps in the compost pile because jute is biodegradable, recyclable, and on top of that, it's a renewable resource.

Inside I used the twine to tie up bundles of cardboard boxes to take to the recycling center, and used a few decorative knots to hang a hand-carved picture frame I made back when I was a kid. At the end of my projects, my hands were covered with the unmistakable petrol/cedar/hay aroma of jute. Such good memories from over the years. While I prefer a spool of twine that unwinds from the center, I was still very pleased with this twine and award it a score of 4.5 out of 5.



By the way, I hope to see my fellow twinebloggers at the Kleinburg Binder Twine Festival this September in Ontario, Canada. We all had a great time last year and this one promises to be even better, with a focus on locally produced twine. I'll be heading up a panel discussion following my presentation "Is the World Ready for Biodynamic Twine? I'm a Frayed Knot."


P.S. Be sure to check out my favorite twine reviews from 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, and 2007.

Civil War Wine Reviews

There is a time in your life when you start to become fascinated by genealogy, and for many this time is accompanied by a general thinning of the scalp and the odd grey hair in an otherwise red beard. My interest in wine is not new to my family tree: I had ancestors in California back at the turn of the last century and various fruit wines were produced at home by the many farmers in the woodpile. I had thought that I was the first wine writer in the family until I stumbled upon a forgotten relative from the 19th century.

Sgt. Beauregard Benitus Carter, III (1827-1903) was a member of the British Army (St. Lawrence Canadian Regiment). This was an awkward position for him, as England was not involved in the war, but marginally favorable to the Confederacy, while Canadians were generally supportive of the Union. As an observer, he stayed out of actual battle but was ordered to photograph and document the war. A serious wine fan and importer for the Hudson's Bay Company, his focus was rather narrow and of limited use to the Crown. Below are a few of his photos, sketches, and notes.

The Union controlled the 19th century winemaking powerhouses of Ohio, Missouri, and New York. As such, there were frequent raids by Confederate forces who had grown tired of low grade whiskey. Here, a pair of Union soldiers defend the last barrel of 1856 Pichon Longueville.

"One may venture to inquire as to why soldiers would shield themselves with the very treasure they were entrusted to protect. Due to lamentable losses in the early stages of the war, barrels were double-walled with a layer of steel between them. While this required much extra work from the coopers, such protection was paramount to ensuring safe passage and storage."
— Sgt. B.B. Carter, III. March 8, 1863.

The much stronger, thicker barrels required some new technological advances. The iron forges of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania provided the first prototype of the M1857a Napoleon Tactical Corkscrew. It took three mules to pull the cart, and ten strong men to position and operate the corkscrew. A half dozen bags of powder were required to pierce through the thick oak and metal plating.

"I wept as a crew of new recruits overloaded the Napoleon and sent the steel worm-screw completely through the barrel. Our precious Michigan Chambourcin flowed upon the ground like so much blood has been spilt in this tragic conflict."
— Sgt. B.B. Carter, III. March 8, 1863, addendum

Tastings were not always happy affairs. When supply was scarce, only the generals got to consume wine. But at other times, like in this sketch from Chancellorsville, Virgina, many were able to sample the latest arrival. Regardless of class, the only accompaniments were small slices of salt pork, dry squares of hardtack, and the odd bit of artisan goat cheese plundered from nearby farms.

"A strict hierarchy is enforced during the degustation. Officers are served first and in descending order of rank. Officers are served five-ounce pours, while the enlisted men are provided with three-ounce pours. Some enterprising men have been known to drill out the stems of their glasses or run a section of pig intestine down their sleeves in order to swindle a deeper ration. Those honourless thieves who are discovered are whipped at dawn and restricted from attendance at future tastings."
— Sgt. B.B. Carter, III. November 12, 1864

Individual bottles did still exist at the time, and in areas with good access to uninterrupted train tracks and postal service, some were able to maintain their wine-of-the-month subscriptions from back home in Boston or New York City.

"As a non-commissioned officer I often spent time with soldiers of my own rank. Infantry Sgt. Wellington stared at his latest wine-subscription bottle, and mourned, 'For the love of God, our nation, the innocent souls of my children, and all that we hold dear, why on Earth did they send me yet another corked Merlot? Gentlemen, these are the times that try men's souls.' Morale was poor that month during the cholera outbreak, and the last thing those men needed was a spoilt claret."
— Sgt. B.B. Carter, III, undated caption on back of photo


For more on the subject, be sure to check out the detailed History of Canadian-American Wine Photojournalism During the Civil War at the Smithsonian website.



Many apologies to Mathew Brady, Edward P. Doherty, my ancestors on both sides of the conflict, and others too numerous to mention.

Otinebian Wines

As longtime readers know, I'm always excited to try wines from areas outside of the mainstream. So far I've swirled and sipped wines from 24 countries and 16 American states, but there are still plenty of areas left to explore. For instance, I'm dying to try a Swiss wine, since I've had wine from all the countries bordering Switzerland as well as Arkansan wines made by the descendants of Swiss immigrants. But for today, I'm going to talk about a batch of samples I received recently from this little-known peninsula.

Phrygidaer and Oiurpul traders introduced grapes to the region around the 4th century B.C., and while wine has been continuously made there for the purposes of religion and general consumption, exports have never been popular. In the modern era, part of that is due to post-war and post-revolution chaos, but a lot of it has to do with the surrounding countries who harbor a lot of ethnic animus towards the Otinebians and have historically embargoed the area. This is the reason why the local equivalent of the Chamber of Commerce has decided to target markets that are largely unfamiliar with this prejudice, and the advent of reliable air freight has made exports easier than the traditional land and sea routes.

There are four wine regions in this small area (click the map to see more detail), and I got to try wines from three of them. The fourth, Taeni Isle, produces a very small amount of wine and it's even difficult to get on the mainland. Here are my notes on three illustrative samples:

2008 Rakleto Rosk
$20, 14.5% abv. Made from 75% Cabernet Sauvignon and 25% Rakesh. North Lorgna region. Much like the Super Tuscans of Italy, this is an attempt to make a fruity, food-friendly wine combining French and native grapes. With a bold cherry profile, this will probably be the most accessible of the three for American palates. In fact, it's even aged on previously used American oak, making me wonder why I wouldn't just drink a California Cab instead.

It's made in the international style and has modern, simple labeling, though still featuring the 17-point star of the Retrac royal family that has governed the capital city off and on for six centuries. I wish this one had a bigger percentage of the Rakesh grape, as I've been told it has pronounced prune and stewed leather characteristics, but I'm afraid here it is just overwhelmed by generic Cab Sav.

2007 Yekralam White
$10, 11% abv. 100% Forqit Blanc. With fun, trendy labeling, and a low price, this is marketed towards the casual, everyday wine drinker. Light and crisp with an overall grapefruit aroma and flavor, it's hard to believe that this isn't a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. But it's really from the Eastern Spur of the peninsula.

After it warms up you're treated to some of the more herbal elements that define this wine as a separate product--I've never encountered tarragon and chives in a wine. Sounds odd but I found the scent alluring and fascinating. The herbal/citrus combination works well with some of the steamed shellfish dishes of the coast, with the catch brought in daily and cooked tableside in small pushcarts that resemble hot dog carts. Like all Otinebian wines this will be difficult to find in your stores but it is well worth the search. Highly recommended.

NV Weazeres Vramat, Sredna col Darza Weaz Otineb
$45, 12.5% abv. Proprietary blend of white and red grapes. Made in the Central Highlands region, this sparkling wine is the famous "Brown Diamond" of Otineb. The grapes are slightly charred over a fire before being crushed and processed, leading to a characteristic smoky, bitter flavor. This is accomplished through the use of traditional charcoal pits and a series of metal screens to hold in the grapes. (See also my review of lapsang souchong, a Chinese tea that is smoked over burning pine wood.)

I found it somewhat... unusual, and I think the color might be offputting for romantic situations. But I am still glad that I tried it, and even now the lingering aroma in the empty bottle reminds me of that girl I dated back around 2002 that constantly smoked unfiltered Pall Malls. Wine and memory, a magic combination.

Remember folks, wine is an adventure, and there's more out there than just California, Australia, France, Germany, and Italy. Don't forget the dozens of other countries that have been making wine for centuries, or that have just started recently. You never know, you might be in for a real treat.


In accordance with FTC regulations, these wines were received as samples from the PR firm of Tryarstuv & Paius.

Benito's Exciting 2009 Martinis

There are certain prudes and old fuddy-duddies out there that say Martinis can only be made with gin. And some of these weirdos even use Vermouth! As if anyone would drink something that sounds like a rat poison--Vermin Out, am I right? We all know that the Traditional Martini is just vodka and ice with an olive on a little plastic sword. But that gets boring fast.

Fortunately, bars and restaurants across the country have learned that anything counts as a Martini. You can serve nonalcoholic beer in a cocktail glass and--presto!--it's a Near-BeerTini! After months of experimentation at the Benito Cocktail Lab, here are my four favorite Nouveau Martinis:

The Rotini

Several of our researchers have spent time in Italy, and if there's one thing that Italians love in their cocktails, it's pasta. Rumored to be a favorite of Lucrezia Borgia, this modern adaptation combines 1⅞ oz. grappa and 1⅛ oz. vodka with a few pieces of cooked rotini pasta (the exact number depends on the lunar calendar and most recent score of the town's futbol team). Recommended for the carb-craving after breaking up with a woman who was strict about the Atkins diet, or as an authentic companion to the antipasto classico italiano first dish of fried mozzarella sticks and marinara sauce. Other pastas can be substituted, but lasagna noodles are difficult to work with. Consider serving shooters in plugged manicotti tubes!

The Light Sweet Crude

Despite the rush for alternative energy sources, most of our cars still run on good ol' Texas Tea. In honor of this viscous life blood of our economy, our team chose to combine 1⅓ oz. freshly brewed espresso, 1¼ oz. blackstrap molasses, and 2⅝ oz. black rum. In lieu of garnish, float a skim of olive oil on top for that rainbow sheen of a Wal-Mart parking lot after it rains. My beloved readers, this cocktail would sprout chest hair on one of them nekkid dogs from Mexico. The sugar/caffeine kick will keep your heart racing for hours, the alcohol will slow things down enough that you don't enter cardiac arrest, and the olive oil will ensure smooth sailing for that egg and pig ear burrito you had on the shady side of Amarillo.

The Orchard Cropduster

Many popular cocktails are all about fruit and rum. We're getting back to the farm here with a glass of raw kumquats. The bartender stands on a stepladder and uses a spray bottle to mist a combination of Barbados silver rum and a dash of orange bitters over the fruit. For effect you can make airplane noises with your mouth, but our marketing department is working on a toy airplane that sprays the liquor. Depending on your clientele the delivery plane can be a Grumman Ag Cat or the Rockwell Thrush Commander. Get to know your local ag pilots before ordering one or the other.

The Vacuutini

Inspired by molecular gastronomy, this martini serves to deliver the essence of the cocktail in a way that will challenge your bourgeois preconceptions. Combine top shelf Russian Vodka (only if it's made west of the Ural Mountains), Lillet Blanc, and a few drops of an organic Pinot Grigio in a cocktail glass. Swirl in a clockwise direction 15 times and then pour the entire drink down the drain. Cover with plastic wrap and place in the freezer. Serve after the contraction of air pressure has pulled in the plastic. Upon serving the customer can remove the plastic and lick the inside of the glass like a desperate teenager cleaning up after his parents' cocktail party. Cutting edge mixology meets ironic nostalgia. Here at the Lab we're working with Swiss glass experts to develop a special set of stemware that will amplify the Vaccutini experience.

Confused web-searchers or newer readers might want to check out my April 1 articles from 2007 & 2008. And check out the Dregs Report for more hijinks.

Other Grape Beverages

For far too long I've neglected the other beverages that are made from the plump fruit of Vitis vinifera and her American cousin Vitis labrusca. While spirits like grappa, marc, and brandy are derived from the grape, here I focus on the more accessible forms that can be found in a variety of establishments across the nation.

Representing the dehydrated market is Grape Kool-Aid®, introduced in 1927 by Edwin Perkins. Just add water and sugar--I prefer using organic Florida-grown cane sugar or the earthy product of a sugarcane plantation nestled in the Brazilian state of Mato Grosso do Sul. While this is often consumed out of sippy cups and plastic mugs, I find that a crystal brandy snifter helps concentrate the spicy aromas of Red #40 and Blue #1 dyes. Drink this on a regular basis and you'll develop a purplish "mustache" that's quite fetching among the kindergarten crowd. Note that the extra Vitamin C means that this has a piquant, tangy character more often found in white grapes such as a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. A good ringer for a blind tasting, eh?

Ah, a sparkler! Don't wait for a special occasion to open Big K Grape Soda. Sparkling Shiraz wines have been the craze in Australia recently, but let's not forget our homegrown bubbly, often packaged in convenient aluminum cans. While the debate over cork versus synthetic enclosures has raged in the still wine arena, many sparkling wines are still plugged up with good ol' tree bark. This convenient 12 oz. serving is ideal for resting in a cooler during a baseball game. Heck, at 35¢ per can, fill up the cooler! Perhaps the aluminum packaging was inspired by Francis Coppola's canned Sofia Blanc de Blancs? A firm fizz takes this can past frizzante and into spumante territory, though as it's a domestic house brand of the Kroger Corporation it cannot carry a proper Denominazione di Origine Controllata e Garantita designation.

The bellini is a cocktail made from Prosecco and a purée of fine white peaches. It was invented sometime around WWII at Harry's Bar in Venice, Italy. An authentic bellini at Harry's will run you €14 (US$22), not to mention airfare and lodging. Instead, you can pick up a whole jug of Welch's White Grape Peach for a little over three bucks! While the company rose to power and fortune on the juice of the Concord grape, in recent years lighter varieties (much less likely to stain the carpet) have been produced using the indigenous Niagara. An excellent match with some prosciutto-wrapped melon, crostini, and marinated squid salad while enjoying a Fellini marathon at home. La dolce vita indeed!

The color blue turns up in wine product names (the internationally-acclaimed "Blue Nun" of Germany), in grape names (the Austro-Hungarian Blaufränkisch), and in fact, some dark grapes do have a bluish tint to them when viewed in the right light. However, this is the first grape drink I've seen which bears the cheerful hue of Windex. Gatorade FIERCE Grape is not for the faint of heart: designed for athletes and those engaged in heavy manual labor, this is fortified with elecrolytes. Like competitor Brawndo, "It's got what plants crave." So when a dainty Pinot Grigio won't cut it, and your wimpy Chablis is quivering in fear of your Hungry-Man Sports Grill frozen dinner, reach for something FIERCE.

April Fools Wine Reviews

In honor of the holiday, here's some of the weirdest wine reviews you'll ever read. For the record, I've never tried any of these beverages nor do I ever wish to. I've had some homebrewed wines before, some bordering on decent, others... I remember one offered at a pig roast that was served from a quart-size canning jar. It was a white wine colored to the shade of tea due to its aging in old whiskey barrels. While some wines are made in a similar fashion with great results, this one smelled like gasoline from an arm's length, and I politely declined.

Warning: none of the links below are suitable for those with weak stomachs or those easily offended by foul language.

Move over Robert Parker, here comes Bum Wines, a site that reviews the likes of Mad Dog 20/20 and Thunderbird (What's the word? Thunderbird!). With all due respect for the plight of the homeless in today's society, you've got to be pretty desperate to drink these wines. And you've got to be damned stupid to actually try them and build a website around the tasting notes. (By the way, the reputation of these wines has probably set back the acceptance of screwcaps on decent wine by several decades.) The knowledge that these are made by major wine conglomerates is disturbing.

Pruno is the name given to a variety of "wines" made in prison. The ingredients vary, and the end result is almost never pleasant, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Follow that link for a version that is based off oranges and ketchup and other unpleasantness. Here's a separate account of someone making prison wine using the "moldy bread in a dirty sock" method.

Though I haven't observed it directly, apparently prison-style winemaking is popular in college dorms by students who are 1) desperate for cheap booze, 2) have no sense of taste or smell, and 3) haven't figured out the more reliable and safer methods of befriending someone over 21, joining a fraternity, or simply going to parties. I read one account that included a picture of a fermenting bag of apples and rice, suspended in a slurry of God-knows-what.