Hot Mustard

When I go out for Chinese, I tend to order the strangest thing on the menu, the item with the most misspelled words, and/or the entrée involving seafood with the highest potential for serious illness. (Once in high school I had the abalone at a really sketchy place in north Memphis that later got shut down for health code violations. One friend got nauseated just watching me.) If they'll let a gweilo like me do so, I'll order off the Chinese menu that's not normally given out and go for the hostess' recommendation. And the next step is generally to ask for some fresh mustard, that little pot of blindingly hot yellow sauce that will clear out your sinuses in a heartbeat.

I finally got some mustard powder of my own to make it at home. Just mix equal parts powder and water* until smooth and dive in. I picked this up at Penzey's over at Poplar and Kirby. You can't quite see it on the label, but it says "Canada Hot". Reminds me of the old adage about a woman who would rate a 6 in the lower forty-eight scoring as a 10 in Alaska. So I was concerned that this mustard might be considered hot by Canadian standards and not by residents of the South, where hot sauce is available everywhere and crazed pepperheads brew dangerous concoctions in old jelly jars.

My fears were unfounded and tears ran down my face while I sampled the mustard, slathered on bratwurst. I've also had good results pairing it with turkey sandwiches and grilled beef. So consider this an apology to the good people of Canada that grew this mustard, and to the lovely women of Alaska.

*Depending on the flavors that you want to create, dried mustard powder can be mixed with wine, beer, vinegar, fruit juices, etc.