I've recently signed up with Appellation America, and hope to write something for them once I've had some time to go through their site. I got an invitation from Managing Editor Adam Dial to participate in their Varietal Character Profiling Program, which describes wines as unique human characters. Winning entries get added to the list, and their in-house illustrator creates a delightful sketch to accomplany the text. (The one for Concord made me burst out laughing.)
Most of the major grapes are already taken, so from the remaining oddballs I'm going to go with one of my favorites, the underappreciated Montepulciano:
You are the owner of a small family restaurant in Tuscany--a trattoria, the place where construction workers and other shop owners enjoy a humble but delicious lunch. You're uncomplicated, refreshing, easy going, and always have a smile on your bright red face. You'll never be famous outside of your neighborhood, and your restaurant will probably never get any bigger, but the locals and occasional visitors will always appreciate your contributions to the everyday Italian table. You are equally at ease in your restaurant, in the home kitchen, and on the back porch beside a sizzling grill on a holiday weekend.